Commitments Meaning - Are YOU really COMMITMENT Towards Your Goal

In today's Post, I want to talk about the concept of commitment.
It's a heavy concept, and we don't give it much thought during our everyday routine.
Thinking about our commitment makes us uncomfortable.
It is a lot of obligation, and a lot of effort and work.
We have made so many commitments in our life, and upholding all the commitments is a burden on us.
Since our childhood, we have been taught to keep up our commitments.
If the teacher gives us a homework, we are committed to complete the homework.
If mom or dad gives us some household work, we are committed to get it done.
If we join college, we have a commitment to complete the degree. Dropping out is not seen in good light by the society, and we work hard to keep up that commitment.
If we buy a movie ticket, we commit to complete watching the movie, even if the movie is boring.
We are committed to finish eating our food because people in Africa are going hungry (even if overeating can lead to indigestion).
As we grow up, our commitment levels increase.
When we join a job, we are committed to help the company grow, and not quit too soon for our own benefit. We commit ourselves to complete 1 or 2 years, and then we feel good about ourselves that we have kept our commitment.
During childhood, our commitments do not have a major impact on our lives.
However, as we grow up, the same social convention wants us to keep up commitments, even if they become unproductive and damaging.

Commitment Reality Images

That's what we have been taught from the beginnning, since childhood - Keep up your commitments at any cost.
When you marry someone, or have a long term relationship a significant other, you are committed to be with them until death does you apart.
When you have friends from childhood, you have a commitment to help them no matter what.
Who Comes First? Society or You?
Such commitments serve the people around us more than it serves ourselves. (That's why the social conventions put pressure on us to keep it up).
I say this with conviction because...
The society expects us to keep our commitment even if the work environment becomes toxic, boring and unproductive. At the cost of our future opportunities.
The society expects us to keep up our commitment to a marriage, even if both parties are unhappy in the marriage, and the relationship has become toxic not just affecting the two people, but also their kids, family and friends.
The society expects us to be friends with childhood friends, even if they have become negative influences, are jealous of our success, and keep asking for money as loan which never gets repaid.
The society expects us to keep commitments for their sake, even if it is harmful and damaging for us.
The society expects us to "do our duties" as we have been taught since childhood.
What's the Right Thing to Do?
And in case you stick to a bad job, bad marriage, bad friend and keep up your commitments - you will not be appreciated for it - because it was expected of you, or of anyone in your place.
There is no award for it from the outside world. There are only lies that you tell yourself.
Now, I know many people who are trying to keep up their commitments to things that are damaging to their own health, finances, mental health and future opportunities.
And they try to keep up the commitment expecting that the society will reward the with "honor".
Let me break it to you.
No one is going to reward you for keeping up your toxic commitments.
You stuck to a job because that was the "right thing to do"?
That's exactly what they will say. It was the right thing to do, because that's what is expected of you.
They do not care if you gave up a better paying job with a better future to keep up the commitment for the work place where you have worked.
Are you sticking to a bad marriage because the society expects you to?
Because everyone around you is saying "that is the right thing to do"?
Even if it damaging to your mental health, future goals and finances?
Even if you sacrificed your future because you wanted to "keep up your commitments to others", no one is going to give you an award for that.
They will say "So what, that's what is expected of you, that's the right thing to do."
Now comes the important part:
I am not saying that commitments should not be kept.
Don't get me wrong.
I am all in for commitments.
I want to keep a commitment and hold it up.
But I have priorities.
Everyone prioritizes their commitments based on what they believe.
All Commitments are Not Equal:
Some people might be dedicated and committed to their family, and not so much to their job. When push comes to shove, they will leave the job for the family.
Some people take the commitment towards their work too seriously. They will overwork and stay in a company, and the cost of their family missing them.
Their priority is their work and commitment to the company they work for.
They will try to keep both the commitments, but when push comes to shove, they will let their family and relationships fail in favour of their work.
Scientists, entrepreneurs, engineers and doctors all too often lose the love of their life because they are over-committed to their work.
I also have commitments.
A lot of commitments.
To a lot of people.
I try to keep up all my commitments.
However, when push comes to shove, I hold up one commitment above all others.
You know what that is?
A commitment to my future self.
A Commitment to One's Own Future:
You see, I have a lot of people around me just like you do.
Investors, clients, spouse, kid, mom, dad, grandma, friend, cousin, uncle, mentors, teachers, my dog and so on.
But I see one more person there.
And that's my future self.
I see myself standing along with all these people.
Me, a few years older.
And I have a commitment to him.
The person I am going to become.
And I will prioritize that commitment over everything else.
Not because I am selfish.
Not because I am more important than others.
Not because I don't have empathy.
I have the first commitment to my future self because if I am not in my best physical health, mental health, financial health and happy in life, I will not be of help to any one else.
In fact, I might become a burden and a liability to the very people who I wanted to keep up my commitments.
You Can't Help Others if You Can't Help Yourself:
We all are incomplete and we try to complete each other.
But in reality, we cannot complete others unless we are complete, first.
We cannot fill someone else's glass when our glass is half empty.
We can fill other's half empty glasses only when we are overflowing.
The biggest contributors to this world, people like Bill Gates, Warren Buffer, Elon Musk and so on do not "sacrifice" themselves for the betterment of the world. They live full and complete lives, and then they start giving. That's when you have give a lot - that changes the world.
To overflow with goodness that it impacts the world around you, you need to focus on yourself, get to your best position in life, by ruthlessly prioritizing the commitment to your future self - over every other commitment you have to other people in your life.
No one is going to award you for deprioritizing the comment to yourself and "living for the sake of others".
And you can't help them much anyway unless you feel complete yourself.
When you keep up the commitment to yourself over everything else, for the sake of yourself and the world around you...
You will quit that toxic job that is a dead end at the cost of disappointing your boss because your commitment to your future self is more important that your commitment to your boss.
If you are in a toxic marriage or a relationship that is damaging to you, you will quit it because your commitment to your future happiness and achievements is more important than the commitment you have to the marriage and social conventions.
You will disconnect with your toxic friends at the cost of them being angry at you and telling that "you've changed nowadays" because the commitment your future self is more important that the commintment to your childhood friends.
You see, the society's convention puts itself first. Not you first. And it is very important that we do not yield to social conventions.
Only you can put yourself first.
Society will never put the desire and needs of an individual on top of the needs of the society itself.
There is No Award for Not Being Selfish:
So this social proof is so overwhelming, and focusing on yourself is called "selfish" and looked down upon because if you focus on yourself for your own improvement, the people around you are disappointed (in the short term).
It comes as a surprise to the boss that you will quit a toxic job in a short 3 months. They show examples of "hard working" employees who are keeping the commitment to the company at the cost of their future opportunities.
All that "sacrifice" is appreciated as a social proof, but the people who sacrifice are never appreciated.
If you do the same "sacrifice" you won't be appreciated. They will just say it was expected of a "good man" like you. And you will have to live your life with the bad feeling that you broke a commitment to yourself.
It comes as a social shock if you quit a marriage which is toxic and mentally damaging to both the parties.
The social conventions have made it so hard to break a marriage with so much consequences because the society wants you to "keep up your commitments", not for your own benefit, but for the society's benefit. For other people's benefit.
They will show examples of unhappy men, but men of "honor" who will keep up their commitments at the cost of their own career, their own future happiness, and their own mental health.
After 20 years if you feel bad about the decision to stay, and tell others about your "sacrifices", it will be brushed off and no one will value your sacrifice.
They will tell you that it was expected of you, or any man of your "stature and respect".
You can go to your deathbed trying to convince yourself that you "did the right thing"; however, the thought of the possibility of a different life will kill you everyday till you die.
Focus on Yourself & Your Future:
You see, when you are flying in an aeroplane, they tell you - just in case the cabit gets de-pressurized, you have to put the mask for yourself first, than helping a child or an old person near you.
Because if you don't put the mask yourself first, you will faint, and you will not be able to help others also.
However, if you put yourself first, you will be able to have to the capacity to help others because you will not faint, and you can help others fix their oxygen masks.
You have a commitment to this world to make it a better place. And you can only do that if you have a commitment to your future self.
If you commit to your future self and become happy, healthy and wealthy, you will start helping others in a much a better way.
Anything that comes in the way of your happiness, health and wealth is not a commitment that is worth keeping.
As we grow up, we realize the harsh reality of life. The world has expectations from us, not for our benefit, but for itself. And ironically, if you don't focus on yourself first, you will not be of any help to humanity either.
People are sheep. Don't follow the herd.
Think for yourself, and do what's right for your future self. Everything will fall in place automatically.
I don't know what are the things you are doing in your life to please others. But whatever it is, have the courage to take a decision and prioritize the commitment to your future self above everything else.
Great men are not born. They are made. And great men become great men because they put themselves first above everyone else.
It's hard. It's against other's "advice". It disappoints people.
But YOU are important to yourself than anything else.
So reply to this post and tell me...
Are you going to put yourself first?
Are you going to keep up the The biggest contributors to this world, people like Bill Gates, Warren Buffer, Elon Musk and so on do not "sacrifice" themselves for the betterment of the world. They live full and complete lives, and then they start giving. That's when you have give a lot - that changes the world.
To overflow with goodness that it impacts the world around you, you need to focus on yourself, get to your best position in life, by ruthlessly prioritizing the commitment to your future self - over every other commitment you have to other people in your life. self to become happy, healthy and wealthy?
Are you going to break commitments with others (that are toxic and damaging) so that you can uphold the commitment you have for yourself?
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1 comments:

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